“Sweet Mary, Mother of God,” I breathed, surveying the wreckage before me. I reached down and picked up the closest beer can. I was such a dead man. My best friend James walked out of the kitchen in his boxers, scratching himself.
“Dude, please, not before I have coffee!” I tossed the beer can at him, and amazingly, he caught it one handed, then lobbed it into the black trash bag we had pinned to the pantry door.
“Just brewed. Don’t worry man, we’ll take care of all this before your parents get home.”
I shouted, “Are you out of your freaking mind? This is a class one disaster! Even if we get everything picked up, what about cleaning it all?”
James grinned. “Dude, I totally have your back. The cleaning crew will be here any—”
The doorbell rang, and he bowed. I growled at him as I headed for the door.
The open door revealed a cute blonde with three of the biggest things I’d ever seen. Her rack strained against its confinement in a hot pink t-shirt. I’m a guy. Sue me. But what really caught my attention was the enormous magnet hanging from her wrist, as she also carried a mop and bucket. Oh yeah, the stretched t-shirt logo said “Morning After Cleanup Crew”. She peered past me and whistled. “Wow. Must have been some party. You want us to start in the yard or in the house?”
I really needed some coffee. “Um, yard, I guess?” I stammered. Brilliant repartee. I’m sure she was impressed. She didn’t give me another glance, though, playing it cool as she spun on her heel and called out to the van behind her. “Come on, guys. We’ll start outside. Joe, you take the front, Bill, the back. I’ll get the pool.”
“How did you know—” I frowned.
She turned back to me with raised eyebrows. “You don’t have a pool?”
“No. I mean, yes, we have a pool.”
She nodded. “Of course you do.” And she was gone around the side of the house before I could muster a suitably smart retort.
I shook my head, still wondering about that magnet, as I closed the door and made a beeline for the coffeemaker. Good thing James was here, because my Mom is the only one in our family who could figure out how to make the damn thing even turn on, much less brew any coffee. I took a big gulp. Oh, wow, that was good stuff.
He reappeared, wearing jeans and flipflops at least. I lifted my mug to him in an appreciative salute.
“Dude, I checked all the rooms. Everyone else has gone home. Let’s go grab some breakfast while the crew does their thing.”
“What? I can’t leave these strangers in the house!”
He stood there and looked at me for a long moment, while I thought about the past 36 hours. I shrugged and picked up the closest car keys on the counter. “Waffle House?”
“You’re paying!” he said, ducking into the garage.
I shook my head. I figured if James' cleanup crew could take care of the evidence of this weekend party, springing for breakfast was the least I could do.
Dogs in house:
April word count: