tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3022413452547277809.post8628379219180771255..comments2023-07-06T07:33:06.262-04:00Comments on * Writers' Spark * Every story has to start somewhere *: Prompt: Use this phrase: “Facing Death for a stranger” Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3022413452547277809.post-67512537113565407722013-03-25T20:04:05.760-04:002013-03-25T20:04:05.760-04:00Yeah, I noticed the Death's as I was writing b...Yeah, I noticed the Death's as I was writing but I was ready to assign a gender to Death just yet...<br /><br />And I also assume female narrator for mine, although I did not do anything to make that clear. Interesting that you picked that up.Annenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3022413452547277809.post-49182492964911450852013-03-23T23:31:09.758-04:002013-03-23T23:31:09.758-04:00Thanks! I think I have more of this story to tell....Thanks! I think I have more of this story to tell. I wrote some of the boy's story but I think it really starts with his dad. So I may come back to these Death charms sometime...Margaret S. McGrawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18301618521427459626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3022413452547277809.post-89650598300169240662013-03-23T23:30:06.095-04:002013-03-23T23:30:06.095-04:00Very nice! I love how different our stories usuall...Very nice! I love how different our stories usually are! Great intro with the confused ghost and a little class distinction. Good setting with very few "brush strokes" Strong depiction of the family, grieving - a lot going on, but you could easily refine that. I would split the 2nd half of the 2nd graph to focus her thoughts--huh, I "assume" her but you don't say so. You have 3 Death's in 3rd graph, but I like where it's going and would love to see more, so, mission accomplished in pulling in this reader, at least!Margaret S. McGrawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18301618521427459626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3022413452547277809.post-33305726723855025272013-03-23T20:21:44.273-04:002013-03-23T20:21:44.273-04:00Love yours! I really got into the story reading i...Love yours! I really got into the story reading it. Annenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3022413452547277809.post-8441076899969427062013-03-23T20:13:08.974-04:002013-03-23T20:13:08.974-04:00Prompt: Use this phrase: “Facing Death for a stra...Prompt: Use this phrase: “Facing Death for a stranger”<br /><br /><br />I thanked the priest and quietly laid out my supplies. The ghost was disorientated, flailing uselessly at the open door, apparently unaware that while it could not cross the herb-laden threshold, sliding through the wall beside would be no problem. Luckily for us, new deaths were generally trapped in the thought-processes of the living. Nobles could afford to encircle a deathroom in herbs; peasants like my current clients spent what usually amounted to half their funerary budget on a thin threshold's worth of herbs plus my services.<br /><br />The family, unaware the boy's spirit was anywhere but his body, encircled the bed. The mother held tight another boy's hand, and a toddling child had fallen asleep in his father's arms. The father hid what was probably tears with a face scrunched low into his shirt. An elderly couple assisted the older sister in comforting her despondent mother. When I had first entered training for this profession, I had thought the spiritual elements would be the most trying--I could scare imagine then daily facing Death for a stranger--but it was dealing with the living left behind that was the hardest. Especially when the deceased was young, like today. But I could not afford emotion until my job was done.<br /><br />I began a soft chant, trying to disturb the family as little as possible. Death did not need a loud call; I often wondered if Death needed a verbal call at all. I felt Death's presence nearly immediately and lowered my chanting volume even more. Now, it was more to keep my mind on track, to protect my own spirit, than any magical function.Annenoreply@blogger.com