tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3022413452547277809.post6512971893931085142..comments2023-07-06T07:33:06.262-04:00Comments on * Writers' Spark * Every story has to start somewhere *: Prompt: The Thrill of Battle (No Matter What Daddy Says) Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3022413452547277809.post-19855441468457978822013-10-22T23:28:46.383-04:002013-10-22T23:28:46.383-04:00Nice intro! Good scene setting and even quick rela...Nice intro! Good scene setting and even quick relationship sketch. The sentence about the footsteps threw me a bit - had to read it a couple of times to make sure I envisioned it--I think you could simplify it a bit (for us slow readers). And in the 2nd graph, 1st sentence, is "there" in the command module?<br />I would read more!<br />Margaret S. McGrawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18301618521427459626noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3022413452547277809.post-80965640839803357122013-10-21T18:12:30.885-04:002013-10-21T18:12:30.885-04:00Prompt: The Thrill of Battle (No Matter What Daddy...Prompt: The Thrill of Battle (No Matter What Daddy Says) <br /><br /><br />I schooled my face into its ‘serious’ look, knowing Daddy would get his ‘even more serious’ look had he seen my grin. His steps did not falter as he passed me, but I could hear the ever-so-slight lengthening of the period in between sharp raps of his boot heels in the few strides it took to cross in front of my skimmer. He finished his inspection of the troops in the hanger bay and returned to the command module, where he looked out at us through the curved and currently transparent wall.<br /><br />I knew he wanted me there, somewhere supposedly ‘safe’. But I also believed he respected my decision, somewhere deep down that he dare not show. He pretended to be swayed by his second’s argument that letting his daughter fight on the front lines would avoid appearances of nepotism, which had plagued him throughout my elder sibling’s careers.<br /><br />Time writing: 14 minutes (done last night, but had to run as baby woke up)Annenoreply@blogger.com